10 Life-Changing Lessons I Learned by 40

“Life really does begin at 40. Up until then, you are just doing research.”
― Carl Jung

Now, as I’m closing 40 and stepping into 41, I can say: it is SO true.
There are hundreds of lessons…
But these are the ones that shaped me the most.

 “Your personal reality becomes your personal reality… and if you want to create a new life, a new personal reality, you need to change your personality. You literally need to become someone else.”

I moved to Barcelona with no connections, no job, no friends, no partner. Zero.
From the moment I decided to move, I started acting like the person I wanted to become.

Taking Spanish again, hiring a career coach, working from almost every co-working space,
posting in English and Spanish even when everyone following me was from Turkey, translating my website, creating the events and experiences that I envisioned…

I still don’t have something “solid,” but I feel I’m on the right path. And actually l really like the person that I’m becoming.

What did it cost me? A lot. My home, selling almost everything I owned, being away from my cats for almost 2 years, losing contact with friends and missing my family.

Was it worth it? Yes. Because the pain of staying the same is worse than the pain of change.

Wouldn’t it be easier if we knew what was going to happen? If I’ll find love, build a life here, bring my cats, move into a home in Poblenou… And then I remind myself: how boring would it be if I knew it all?

We reduce our reality to what feels safe and predictable. We can’t even predict our next thought, yet we try to control everything by forcing a story onto it.

Not knowing means anything is possible.

So you keep going, trusting the best outcome.
And ask yourself: “How would your life look if you lived it like an adventure?”

Kundalini Yoga changed my life, saved me from an unhappy relationship and this simple quote from Jai Dev has guided me through every challenge.

When I hear myself complaining, even while doing the things that are taking me where I want to go:
translating my website past midnight, falling asleep in front of the screen, teaching most evenings and weekends,
moving houses again and again, talking in Spanish at events even if  I feel uncomfortable…
I pause.
And I remember what my life is about: my purpose, my vision and who I’m becoming.

That reminder helps me move with more joy than complaint, even when the task itself isn’t enjoyable.

“I recognize my true essence in every soul I meet.”

It’s easy to say after a class or with people we love. Much harder with people who trigger us, hurt us or act unfairly. Can you recognize your true essence in them?
It’s not easy. I haven’t mastered it. But even trying has changed my relationships.

We all carry the same potential: light and shadow, courage and fear, growth and resistance. We don’t know anyone’s full story or their battles. So the only thing we can do is recognize and stay open.
Then Namaste becomes a practice of humility, compassion and honesty than just a word at the end of class.

Every time I choose gratitude over comparison, my whole experience shifts from “not enough” to “more than enough.”

We usually focus on what we don’t have: the house, the furniture, the partner, the network, the comfort I once had, the time… When I think about what’s missing, it gives me anxiety and makes me feel not enough.

But when I shift my attention to what I do have, everything changes.

I don’t have my own house, but I’m living in an incredible apartment with one of the best views in Barcelona.
I don’t have a partner or kids, but I have my family’s love and 2 amazing cats.
I don’t have my cats with me, but my parents care for them with so much love as if they were their grandchildren.
I don’t have a big social circle yet, but I’m building real, meaningful friendships.
I don’t have a fully established business, but I’m creating work I love in spaces I once dreamed of.
I don’t have certainty, but I have purpose and the courage to build a new life from zero.

I don’t have everything, but what I have is amazing.

Whenever I hear myself complaining on repeat, I know something needs to change: the house, the job, the relationship, the city… or sometimes my pace. The moment I see clearly what needs to change, my mindset shifts.

That was the “push” I needed to leave Turkey. The constant complaining was draining me and I didn’t want to spend one more day of my life in that energy.

 So I asked myself: “If I had no limits, what would I do?”
And I did have limits: visa problems, paperwork, figuring out how to live abroad.
It took almost two years to shift from “Why I can’t?” to “How can I?”, but once that mindset changed, everything started to flow and I moved to Barcelona in 6 months.

We avoid what we truly want because of fear, especially the fear of being judged. But that fear is a mental construct and it’s not real.

At 27, I co-founded a women’s running group, ran many races, was sponsored by Nike for the SF Women’s Half Marathon and ran a full marathon by 30.
I quit my job at 30 without knowing exactly what I wanted, only knowing I didn’t want the office life.
I quit again at 34, as a sales & marketing director for global brands, to become a yoga teacher.
I moved to a small beach town, Datça at 37.
I moved to Spain to build my work internationally in well-being, Ayurveda and conscious cooking.
I’ve spoken Spanish since the day I arrived, even when it wasn’t perfect.

Now I’m coaching in 3 languages and teaching in almost three.

Imagine if I hadn’t done any of this, just because someone might judge me.

In the end, it’s simple: we choose which voice we believe. And the more you choose the supportive ones, the more they show up.

This line guides me whenever I feel lost. A reminder to keep searching, learning, trying, staying open… and trusting that what I am seeking will also find me.

I’ve never been someone with one fixed path. I’ve always followed my heart and whenever something no longer felt aligned, I kept searching until the next door, teacher, person or home appeared. My life naturally became a series of evolutions: from one field to another, from one version of myself to the next. 

Sometimes I wish everything would finally “settle,” so that I could arrive at that imagined picture and say, “Okay, now I’m here.” But life doesn’t work like that, and that’s the beauty of it.

Without limitations, nothing can be created.

In yogic philosophy, creation begins when the limitless chooses to take a shape. Pure consciousness, Brahman becoming the individual self Atman to experience life.

I use this every time I create something: a class, a workshop, content, a space or a new version of myself.
First, I limit myself.  Because once there is a limit, there is clarity. And from clarity, creativity starts to flow.
From there, you can expand.

This sentence (en experience) alone kept me committed to meditating first thing in the morning.

We think all day long. If our essence lives between thoughts, it means most of us move through the day without touching that deeper place inside.

Even when you love your work, you still need space. A pause. A moment where you’re not reacting, planning, producing. Breathwork, meditation, movement, prayer… anything that reconnects you to your inner world.

For me, it’s meditation + breathwork. It’s like taking a mental snapshot each morning, a moment of clarity before the day begins.

If you don’t have time to meditate, you don’t have time for yourself.

Final Words:

Deciding who you become is the most important decision you’ll ever make.

Do the best you can with the resources, wisdom, skills and awareness that you have, trust to the universe with the rest.
And no matter what, trust that the best possible outcome will find you! (and it will be wilder than your dreams)